Yugioh Takes the Stage!
by Relick
Summary: The Yugioh cast are going to be actors! Plays, skits, TV shows, commercials! Where will it all end!?!? Now rehearsing for Little Shop of Horrors!! Anyone who wants to help out should read and review!!
1. Auditions: Be Afraid Be VERY Afraid

Relick: Konnichiwa, minna-san!(Hello, everyone!) I decided to take a small break from The Final Shadow Game for a while. At least until I get more reviews…

Artemis: ^__^ So we decided to do something a LITTLE different! Yugioh acting!!!!

(a/n Artemis is my sister, NOT my Yami)

Relick: That's right. And the play will be…*drumroll starts* *turns to Artemis* STOP THAT!

Artemis: *at the drumset* *stops drumroll*

Relick: The play will be… Little Shop of Horrors!

Artemis: YAY! ^_____^

Relick: KAWAII!!! ^______________^ *pulls herself together* Oh yes, and to do the disclaimer we have Mokuba Kaiba, our stage manager!

Mokuba: *walks nervously on stage* I'm doing the disclaimer?

Relick & Artemis: *nod nod*

Mokuba: Ok… Relick does NOT own Yugioh, the Little Shop of Horrors musical, or the 1930s Roger Corman film. Nor any of the characters.

Artemis: *grin grin* *gloat gloat*

Relick: *glares at Artemis* *turns to Mokuba* a-HEM!!

Mokuba: Oh yeah… Artemis doesn't own them either…

Artemis: *facefault* T__T  I was SOOO close to having them all too…

Relick: Too bad. Anyway, auditions are today. Mokuba, dear, could you go to the back and get all those who are trying out for the Urchins? (a/n For those who don't know, an urchin is a street kid)

Mokuba: OK!!! ^___^   *goes off*

Relick: *whispering* He's just so adorable dontcha  think?

Artemis: Yeah…he is.

Relick: Ok, enough about Mokuba. Here's how my audition system works. I had all the characters watch Little Shop of Horrors at my school play. (I was a chorus line member, but they all said I did great!) They then chose a character and I gave them each a song.

Mokuba: *returns*  We have a bit of a problem, Relick…

Relick: What's wrong?

Mokuba: There's four people who want to do their audition together.

Relick: That's ok. Send 'em in!

*Anzu, Ryou, Isis, and Malik walk on stage* 

Relick: *tries not to blush at Ryou and Malik* Hi, guys. Ok… I gave you the theme song to audition with, right?

Anzu: Right. And I came up with some dance moves to go with it. Is that ok?

Artemis: SURE!!! I'll get onto the piano as the accompanist. *gets set up at the piano*

Relick: Start whenever you're ready.

Anzu: Alright! A 5, 6, 7, 8!

*all start the dance and sound amazing in unison*

All: Little Shop! Little Shopp'a Horrors!

       Little Shop! Little Shopp'a Terror!

       Call a cop! Little Shopp'a Horrors!

       Oh! Oh oh oh no oh!

Anzu: Shing-a-ling! 

          What a creepy thing 

           to be happening!

Isis: Look out!

Ryou: Look out!

Malik: Look out!

Anzu: Look out!

Isis: Shang-a-lang!

        Feel the sturm and drang

        In the air!

All: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Ryou: Sha-la-la-la!

           Stop right where you are 

           Don't move a thing!

All: You better!

Malik: You better,

            Telling you, you better,

            Call your mamma,

            Something's gonna get her!

            She better,

            Everybody better beware!!

All: Come'a Come'a Come'a!

       Little Shop! Little Shopp'a Horrors!

       Little Shop! You'll never stop the terror!

       Little Shop! Little Shopp'a Horrors!

       Oh! Oh oh oh no! Oh oh oh no! Oh oh oh no oh oh oh!

Relick: 0__0

Artemis: 0__0

Auditioners:  ^___^

Relick: Good job. Results will be posted tomorrow on the auditorium door.

*Anzu and the others walk off stage*

Relick: OMIGOD!!!! That was AMAZING!!!

Artemis: I KNOW!!!!

~*~*~*~*BACKSTAGE*~*~*~*~

Yugi: So how'd you do?

Anzu, Isis, Ryou, and Malik: We sucked…

Seto: Don't feel bad… at least you didn't HAVE to audition…

All: ???

Seto: Mokuba MADE me…

Anzu: Don't worry. As friends, we'll all be right behind…

Yami Bakura(who I'll just call Bakura): *chucks a pillow at Anzu*

Anzu: HEY! ___*

Bakura: Be grateful… I'll throw something MUCH harder the next time you say "friendship"

Yami: HE SAID IT!!!! 

All: *throw various hard objects at Bakura*

Bakura: @___@

Yami: ^______^

Mokuba: *walks in* *doesn't notice what happened* All those trying out for Seymour get on stage! *leaves*

Jounochi: Oh! That's me!!

Honda: Me too!

Mai: Good luck…*under her breath* You'll need it…

~*~*~*~*ON STAGE*~*~*~*~

Pegasus: *singing* Oh! Oh oh oh no! Oh oh oh no! Oh oh oh no oh oh oh!

Relick: -___-U  Ummmm…

Artemis: 0___0U EEEP!!

Relick: *with a British accent* Pegasus, I'm going to be honest with you… You were absolutely dreadful…

Pegasus: Thank you! ^__^

Relick: *still with British accent* That's not a good thing…

Pegasus: It's not? 

Relick: *still with British accent* I don't think you're fit to be in this competition…

Pegasus: Wait! Wait! I can do better! *starts singing* I want to be the very best!

Relick: YOU WENT AGAINST THE DISCLAIMER!!!!

Artemis: OFF KEY NOTE OF DOOM!!!! *plays off key note of doom on piano*

Pegasus: MY EARS!!!! *runs away*

Artemis: ^________^

Relick: *softly* Artemis and I don't own Pokemon, either.

Artemis: But if we did…*eyes sparkle* We'd be rich!!! $___$

Relick: Next!

Jounochi: *walks on stage* Hiya, Relick! ^___^

Artemis: *hearts in eyes* WHEEEEEEE!!!! JOUNOCHIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! *jumps from piano and glomps him*

Relick: ^__^U 

Jounochi: 0___0U

Relick: O-kay… I assigned you "Grow for Me," right? You can start whenever you're ready.

Jounochi: I'd start if Artemis would get offa me!

Relick: Artemis! Down girl!

Artemis: *whimper* ;__;

Relick: Awww… cheer up! Go play your piano!

Artemis: Okies! ^___^

Relick: ^___^ Alright, you can begin.

Jounochi: *opens his mouth to sing*

Pegasus: *runs in and pushes Jounochi out of the way* *singing*

 I've given you sunshine!

 I've given you dirt!

Relick: *puts something into her ears* *tosses a package to Jounochi*

Jounochi: What's this? *reading* Ultra Anti-Sonic Hearing Impairments? 

Relick: *points to her ears and then points to Artemis* 

Artemis: *evil, mischievous smile* *hands up over the keyboard, as if to smash down on the piano*

Jounochi: Oh. *puts in Ultra Anti-Sonic Hearing Impairments*

Artemis: OFF KEY NOTE OF DOOM!!!!!! *plays it*

Pegasus: AHHHHHHH!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!! *runs away*

Relick: *takes out Ultra Anti-Sonic Hearing Impairments*

Jounochi: *does the same* 

Relick: For all you readers out there… Artemis is magically protected while playing the Off Key Note of Doom.

Artemis: ~__^

Relick: Jounochi… you may now begin…

Jounochi: *sings the song beautifully, despite the Brooklyn accent*

I've given you sunlight!

I've given you rain!

Looks like you're not happy,

Less I open a vein!

I'll give you a few drops…

If that'll appease…*pretends to squeeze blood from his finger*

Now please! Oh oh oh please!

Grow for me?

Relick: ^___^ Results are tomorrow.

Artemis: *swooning over Jounochi's voice* *dreamily* We'll let you know you got the part then…

Relick: 0___0 ARTEMIS!!!!

Artemis: What?

Relick: Nothing… Anyway this is taking WAY too long. Artemis… the bag please?

Artemis: *tosses over magic bag of tricks*

Relick: Thanks! ^__^  *reaches in and pulls out a remote control* *presses a button*

*Everything speeds up and 20 auditions pass by in seconds*

Relick: Ooh! Ooh! This is a good one! *presses another button*

Mokuba: Come on, big brother! Go for it!

Seto: NO!!! I DON"T WANT TO EMBARRASSS MYSELF!!!

Relick: *hearts in eyes* YAAAAAY!!!! HIYA SET-CHAN!!! 

Seto: Why do you call me Set-chan? I'm older than you…

Relick: *passionately* Who says a 14 year old girl can't love a 15 year old boy? 

Artemis: YEAH! Fight the power!

Seto: *sweatdrop* Can I get this over with now? You assigned me the Dentist song…

Relick: OK!!! 

Seto: *takes a deep breath* Ok…

When I was younger, just a bad little kid,

My momma noticed funny things I did.

Like shooting puppies with a BB gun,

I'd poison guppies and when I was done,

I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head!

*singing* That's when my momma said!

Anzu, Isis, Ryou, and Malik: *appear from nowhere* 

What did she say?

Seto: *confused* *singing* 

She said my boy I think someday,

You'll find a way, to make your natural tendencies pay!

You'll be a dentist!

 Anzu, Isis, Ryou, and Malik: You'll be a dentist!

Seto: You have a talent for causing things pain!

A, I, R, M: Pain!

Seto: I'm your dentist!

A, I, R, M: He is your dentist!

Seto: People will pay you to be inhumane! 

A, I, R, M: So inhumane! 

*song continues with Seto and the others ending in a big pose*

Relick: Encore! Encore!

Seto: *blushing* No way! No way! *walks off stage still blushing*

Mai: *walks on stage* I think he has the hots for you, Relick.

Relick: YAAY!!!

Artemis: Relick's off in another world right now, Mai. Why don't you start your audition? 

Mai: *singing*

 Nobody ever treated me kindly,

Daddy left early, Momma was poor.

I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly,

He'd snap his fingers at me,

I'd say sure!

Suddenly Seymour!                        

Is standing beside me!

You don't give me orders!

You don't condescend! 

Suddenly Seymour,

Is here to provide me,

Sweet understanding.

Seymour's my friend…

Relick: *back to her senses* Good job, Mai!

Mai: *grin grin* *gloat gloat*

Relick: Results are tomorrow.

Mai: *walks off stage*

Pegasus: *walks in with his hair in a ponytail and wearing a silver dress with two Funny Bunny plushies stuffed in the top portion of the dress* *singing* Suddenly Seymour!

Relick: MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!!

Artemis:  *ready to play the Off Key Note of Doom*

Relick: Wait, Artemis. This is an insult to Little Shop fans worldwide. *unsheathes Fire and Thunder, her swords* *leaps toward Pegasus*

Pegasus: *still singing* Seymour's my…AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Relick: *holding Pegasus's chopped off hair* Now you know why they call me the Wielder of the Twin Swords. ^___~

Pegasus: My…my hair! Look what you did my flowing silver locks! What kind of creature are you?! I'm going home to my mommy!!! *runs off crying*

Artemis: Do you think we were too hard on him?

Both: *think for a second*  Naah…

Relick: Well that's all the auditions… except for Bakura.

Artemis: Maybe he changed his mind. Oh well… want to stalk Seto and Jounochi?

Relick: OK! I just need to grab my stuff from backstage. 

*~*~*~*BACKSTAGE*~*~*~*

Bakura: @___@

Deena: *cradling Bakura in her arms* What did they do to you?! ;__;

Relick:  Deena?! What are you doing here?! (a/n Deena is the evil genius of Sideways, an organization intent on ruling the world. Members: 3. I'm the military leader.)

Deena: Look what they did to Bakura-chan!

Bakura: @___@

Relick: So that's why he didn't audition… oh well. I'll see you tomorrow, Deena. *leaves*

Deena: RELICK!!

*~*~*~*ON STAGE*~*~*~*

Relick: Well that's it for now, folks. If you want to audition for the chorus line, feel free to let me know! Also, I need a choreographer, tech manager, and a prop director.

Artemis: And I need a guitarist, bass player, drummer, and another piano player!

Relick: Well, I've got to review these auditions. Ja ne!

Artemis: Ja ne! 


	2. The Results Are In!

Relick: *walks in* 

Mokuba: *follows her*

All: *on stage, grabbing a microphone from each other* *singing*

Your move!

Jou: It's time to duel and there's no backing down!

All: Your move!

Mai: It's in the cards, that's where magic is found!

All: Your move!

Yami: We've played this game before,

Yugi: But never quite this way!

Bakura: It's like an all out war,

Ryou: With monsters that obey!

All: Yu-Gi-Oh!

Isis: He's the king of games!

All: Yu-Gi-Oh! 

       Your move!

Malik: Egyptian secrets have survived,

           Ancient powers are revived!

Anzu: An all out war of dark and light,

       Friends all help to win the fight!

All: It's time to d-d-d-duel!

Honda: These two identities, they struggle for control,

Pegasus: Two personalities, inhabiting one soul! 

All: Yu-Gi-Oh!

Shizuka: He's the king of games!

All: Yu-Gi-Oh!

      Your move!

Seto: *speaking* It's your move. Collect them all on VHS and DVD!

Relick: *blink blink* Be it ever so random…

Mokuba: I think they're trying to make a last ditch effort to impress you, Relick.

Artemis: *runs in crying and carrying a book* IT"S NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Relick: *ready to give her sister a hug* Oh, Artemis, wassamatter?

Artemis: *runs past Relick and jumps onto the stage* *grabs Jou VERY tightly*

Jou: *face turning blue* Ar…te…mis! This…really…hurts!

Artemis: I'm never letting go of you, Jou! 

Relick: *singing* Where ever you are!

Artemis: SHUT UP!! You know we don't own Titanic!!!

Relick: ;________;  sowwy…

Anzu: Artemis, what's wrong? Why are you crying?

Artemis: Well, *sniff* *holds up the book she was carrying, which happens to be a manga*  I was reading the original Yugioh manga and…and…*starts bawling* 

Jou: And WHAT????

Artemis: *looks into Jou's eyes* You died…

All: NANI?!?!? (what?!?!)

Artemis: Yeah…*looks over angrily at Malik* And it's all YOUR fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malik: Huh??? I didn't do anything!!!!

Artemis: *ready to pounce* 

Relick: ^_____^U Heh heh… Well, we have a lot of stuff to do today so why don't you settle this later? Anyway, it took a while, but we finally have results! So let me bring in my reviewers!!! Come on in, guys!!!

*Kami Anya, Jaid Skywalker, and stargirl3000 walk into the theater* 

Kami & Jaid: Hi Relick!

Stargirl: WHERE'S YAMI?!?!? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!

Yami: *cowering behind Yugi* *whispering* What I do?

Yugi: You threw things at Bakura, remember? 

Yami: Oh no!!! Now rabid fangirls will come to attack me!

Relick: Yami, shut up! OK!! Now since I didn't have a lot of reviews, we don't have a chorus line yet. So Kami, you play guitar and Stargirl, you play drums. Jaid, you do choreography. 

Reviewers: YAY!!! ^_______________^

Relick: And I have a special guest to reveal the results! *looks evilly at cast members* It's someone you all know VERY well…

Cast: O_O

Yugi: Who is it?

Relick: She's a friend of mine who I've been e-mailing for a couple of weeks now. I'd like to bring in… Kawaii-anime-lover, aka KAL!!!!!!!!

KAL: *runs into the theater* Hey Relick! 

Relick: Hi, KAL!

Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bakura: *falls to his knees, sobbing* WHY?!?!?

Yami: I thought we were free of her!

Seto: Relick, I thought you liked me! Why'd you have to invite KAL!?!?!?

Relick: *sweetly* Oh, Set-chan! You know I like you, but I needed to keep you guys in line somehow…

KAL: *giggles* Set-chan…that's a new one…

Seto: SHUT UP!!!!!

Artemis: Ummm, guys? Can we read the results now?

Relick & KAL: OK!!!!!!!

Relick: *hands KAL a sheet of paper* Here…the sacred list…guard it well.

KAL: *nods* Ok…First for the role of Seymour. 

Artemis: *whispers something into KAL's ear* *smiles mischievously*

KAL: *smiles mischievously back* 

Pegasus: *looks overly excited*

KAL: Seymour will be played by Peg…

Pegasus: *ready to blow up*

KAL: *smiles* Jounochi!!! YAY!!!

Cast(except for Pegasus): HUZZAH!!!!  

Relick: HEY!!! .* Don't use my word!!

Cast: Awww…

KAL: Audrey will be played by Mai…*looks at list again*  That can't be right…

Relick: Well, it was either her or Pegasus.

Pegasus: *smiling broadly* 

KAL: *trying to erase unpleasant images from her mind* O-kay… Audrey 2's voice will be done by Yami and its body will be done by Yugi! 

Yami & Yugi: YAY!!!! ^________^

Relick: KAWAII!!!!!! ^______________^

KAL: "Kawaii" is MY word! Don't use it!

Relick: I'll let you use "huzzah"…

KAL: *thinks* Well…OK!! Anyway, the Dentist will be… Seto!

Relick: YAY, SET-CHAN!!

Seto: *blushes* *eye twitches* Don't call me that!

KAL: But it suits you so well…Set-chan.

Seto: Grrrrr…

Relick: The rest is not important…*pulls out magic remote control and speeds up time*

All: *move VERY quickly, a few cheers here, a couple of sobs there. You get the idea*

Relick: *returns time back to normal* ^__~

KAL: And the urchins are Anzu, Ryou, Isis, and Malik!

Relick: HUZZAH!!!! Thanks for helping out KAL. Artemis and I really appreciate it.

KAL: No prob! *looks over at cast members* And YOU! Back to the studio!

Cast: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Seto: I don't want to go back to that hell hole!!

KAL: You will and you will like it! *grabs Seto's ear and drags him and the rest of the cast back to her story, using her authoress powers* See ya later!

Relick: Bye!

Artemis: Yeah, bye! Oh, Kami and Stargirl, here's your music. I want you to practice tonight!

Relick: And Jaid, I want you to think up some dances for the show, ok?

Reviewers: OK!!! ^_______________^

Relick: Also, I NEED more actors, musicians, crew, or this play's going nowhere! 

Artemis: Only YOU have the power!

Relick: Well, I have a lot of stuff to do now. Places to go, manga to read, anime to watch… See y'all later!

Artemis: BYE!!!!!


	3. Relick's Disappearing Act

Seto: *onstage* *is "dying" at a bewildered Jounochi's feet* *singing*

            Are you dumb?!

            Or hard of hearing?

            Or RELIEVED…

            My end is nearing.

            Are you SATISFIED?!

            I've laughed myself to…

*he falls down "dead"*

Jou: Death.

Seto-haters: *singing*

                     Ding Dong the witch is dead!

Relick: HEY!!! .*  *looks at Seto* Set-chan, you're not going to stand for that are you?!

Seto: Zzzzz…

Relick: Set-chan?

Jou: ^__^U He fell asleep…

Relick: *facefault*

Artemis: Relick, I'm tired. Can we go home?

Relick: Come on!! You guys can handle a few extra hours of rehearsal can't you?!

All(except Relick): No…

Yami: Some of our hikaris have school in the morning. 

Relick: *defeated* Fine… same time tomorrow, guys!!

All: *groan*

Relick: Oh, and Jaid?

Jaid: Hmm?

Relick: I've decided to make you the 1st customer in the show, Ok?

Jaid: Ok!! But who's doing choreography?

Anzu: *smiling and waving*

Jaid: Ohhhh… I get it.

Relick: See ya tomorrow!

All: *leave, yawning and falling over each other* 

*Bakura, Pegasus, Yami Kay and Yami Johanna (two of my reviewers' yamis) remain*

Bakura: That baka(stupid) Relick… she drives me crazy! She and her annoying sister…

Pegasus: I know what you mean… but what can we do about it?

Y. Kay: But… our hikaris like her.

Bakura & Pegasus: SOOO?!?!

Y. Kay: *laughs nervously* OK… point taken.

Y. Johanna: What do you propose we do, Bakura?

Bakura: *snickers* I'll tell you…

*~*~*THE NEXT DAY*~*~*

Isis: *hugging Malik* Does your eye still hurt, Malik-chan?

Malik: *holding an icepack on his right eye* Yeah…that Artemis sure packs a punch…

Isis: Well… you did put Jou in the hospital in the original manga…

Malik: IT WASN'T ME!!! IT WAS MY YAMI'S FAULT!!!!

*Jou and Mai walk in*

Jou: YESSSS! Katsuya Jounochi and his lovely sidekick Mai Kujaku are back!!!

Mai: HEY!! Who made me your sidekick?

Jou: *uneasy* Uhhh… heh heh… 

Ryou: *comes in with a very good mood* 

Seto: Why are you so happy?

Ryou: Bakura wasn't home all night, so I woke up this morning without so much as a scratch!

Anzu: He really beats up on you, doesn't he?

Artemis: *dashes in holding a videotape* You guys!!! Relick's disappeared!!

All: NANI!?!?

Yugi: Wh-where is she?

Artemis: If I knew, I wouldn't have said she disappeared.

Rayne: Well, maybe that video says something…

Artemis: Good idea! *puts the video in a very mysterious VCR*

*Relick appears on screen. She is tied up and surrounded by many intimidatingly large men.*

Relick: *on screen* *all smiles* Hey there, everybody. I've really gotten myself into quite a mess. It seems I accidentally trespassed into some war zone thingy and have been taken prisoner.

Yugi: This seems to be right out of an episode of Excel Saga…

Artemis: *suddenly VERY upset* *shaking the screen* WE DON'T OWN EXCEL SAGA!!!! WE DON'T OWN EXCEL SAGA!!

Malik: Jeez… calm down Artemis.

Artemis: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, MURDERER!!

Malik: I TOLD YOU!! IT WAS MY YAMI!!!

Mai: Will you two just shut up? I'm trying to listen.

Relick: *on screen* Life here is so unfair. I have NOT been given the right to remain silent. I have NOT been given the right to call an attorney. I have NOT been given the right to watch all my favorite anime. But, I did make some new friends here. *gun fires in the background* But their numbers seem to dwindle as the days go by…

Reviewers: *all exchange worried looks*

Relick: *on screen* Anyway, I've really gotta get out of here before I end up like some of the previous visitors. *holds up a skull, smiling* I'll catch up with you guys when I finally get out of here. *screen goes blank*

Yugi: *very determined and heroic* We've got to go and save her! 

Artemis: We definitely will! Without Relick, there's no story.

Reviewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Artemis: So that's why we have to save her!

KAL: Let's go!

Yugi: Onward troops! YAAAH!! *leads Artemis and reviewers out of the theater to wherever Relick is being held*

Bakura: *to Pegasus* They'll never find Relick where we stashed her.

Pegasus: *laughs in his strange nasally way*

Yami: What are you two snickering about?

Bakura & Pegasus: *try to look innocent* 

Yami: *glares at them suspiciously *

Bakura & Pegasus: *try even harder to look innocent*

Mokuba: Well, I guess we can all go home…

Seto: Great! C'mon Mokuba. *attempts to open the door* Hey! It's locked!

Mokuba: *notices a sticky note on the door* *reading* Hey everybody! So no one else gets kidnapped by bad guys, I locked all the exits and superglued  them shut. See ya later. Love, Artemis.

Bakura: *stops snickering* Y-you mean we're stuck in here?

Mokuba: That seems to be the case.

*Seto, Yami, and Bakura exchange "I hate you" looks*

Seto: *pulls out a laptop* 

Yami: Kaiba, what are you doing?

Seto: Just because I'm stuck in the same room and the same production as you doesn't mean I have to converse with you. *starts surfing the net*

Pegasus: *signals for Bakura to come with him*

Bakura: *does*

Ryou: *looks curious and follows them*

*~*~*BACKSTAGE*~*~*

*Bakura and Pegasus are laughing evilly and destroying everything in the prop room. Ryou is hiding behind a drumset*

Bakura: Ooooh… this is gonna be good.

Pegasus: *nods in agreement*

Bakura: They have no idea that WE were the ones who sent Relick to that place. Now she will pay for not giving us good parts.

Pegasus: Well…actually…*embarrassed* I'm the "Voice Not Unlike God's" in the beginning…

Bakura: WHAT!?! Well, that's beside the point. She will pay for not giving ME a good part.

Ryou: *jumps out of hiding* A-HA!! So YOU were the ones who plotted against the authoress! You guys are so busted!

Bakura: *grabs Ryou and twists his arm* Come with me…

Ryou: *horrified* NO! NO! PLEASE! DON'T BE MAD!!

Bakura: *stuffs poor Ryou-chan into a closet with a look of menace on his face*

*The reader's monitor suddenly goes blank. The words "Please Stand By…" are written in big, friendly letters*

Relick's Voice: Are we on?

Artemis's Voice: Yes, just start!

Relick: A-hem…We interrupt this fanfic to bring you an important message. Because of the sudden act of violence threatening the "G" rating of this story, Yugioh Takes the Stage is proud to present these commercials.

Seto's Voice: Do we have to?

Relick: Yes!

*Seto, Yami, and Yugi are surrounded by very round, very kawaii, very pink Jigglypuffs.*

KAL's Voice: Parents, you remember when. Well it's back again! The Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff!

*Two hands, presumably Bakura's, is holding a Jigglypuff in one hand and a fork in the other*

KAL: Ordinary Jigglypuff go pop!

*Bakura sticks the fork in the Jigglypuff's stomach. It explodes.* 

Yugi: *makes a noise in terror*

KAL: But Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff do not!

*Bakura sticks the fork in the second Jigglypuff's stomach.*

Jigglypuff: *looks at the giant hole in its stomach* Jiggly?

Yugi: *faints*

Yami: Yugi?

Mysterious Disembodied Voice: The Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff is not available in stores. In fact, it's not available at all, because it doesn't exist. Call 1-800-POP. That's 1-800-POP. Sorry no CODs.

Relick: Oh! It seems the violent part of the story has ended.

Malik: Couldn't we have just done a "meanwhile on stage" scene?

Relick: Errr…Uhhh… this is more…fun?

*Screen goes blank again. "We now return to our regularly scheduled fanfic."*

Artemis: *runs into the theater* (a/n: How Ary-chan was able to run into a locked and superglued door is beyond me, so it's anyone's guess)

Mokuba: Artemis! You're back!

Relick: Hey everybody! I'm back!

Seto: You mean they actually SAVED you?

Relick: Of course! They really love me you know.

Kay: Actually, it was Yugi's brave heart that led us to you!

Relick: *touched* Oh! Yugi-chan! *gives Yugi a little kiss on the head*

Yugi: *blushes* Aw, shucks it was nothing. 

Relick: No, it was definitely something!

Yugi: *giggles shyly* 

Seto: *looks extremely angry* *under his breath* How…dare…he…

Mokuba: *noticing his brother's change in attitude* Seto? What's wrong? 

Seto: *pointing over to Yugi and Relick* THAT!!!

Mokuba: *looks* So? You hate Relick.

Seto: It's not that, it the principle of the matter! *marches over to Relick who is giving, Yugi lots of hugs*

Relick: Yugi-chan, you're the bestest! 

Seto: *grabs Relick from behind and spins her around* *to the readers* All my fangirls, I'm sorry about this…*locks lips with Relick*

Relick: O___O!! *after a second gets into it*

Artemis: *smiles mischievously at Jou* *grabs him, dips him, and kisses him very roughly*

Jou: O__O;;;

Deena: *pops in mysteriously* Baka-chan!!! *starts chasing Bakura*

Bakura: Stay away from me, evil woman of another world!!!

*All fangirls start chasing after their respective favorites*

Cast: HEEEELLLLP!!!

Artemis: *stops kissing Jou for a second* Hey! Who do you think makes a cuter couple? Relick and Seto or me and Jou? *continues kissing a rather resistant Jou*

Relick's Favorite Clip From the Chapter:

KAL: Ordinary Jigglypuff go pop!

*Bakura sticks the fork in the Jigglypuff's stomach. It explodes.* 

Yugi: *makes a noise in terror*

KAL: But Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff do not!

*Bakura sticks the fork in the second Jigglypuff's stomach.*

Jigglypuff: *looks at the giant hole in its stomach* Jiggly?

Yugi: *faints*

Yami: Yugi?


	4. A Belated Birthday

Isis: *singing in a gospel-like voice*

            Alarm goes off at seven,

            And you start uptown.

            You put in your eight hours,

            For the powers that have always been.

Malik: Sing it, sister!

Isis: Till it's five p.m.,

Johanna & Kay: Then you go…

All: Downtown

      Where the folks are broke,

      You go downtown

      Where your life's a—

Relick: STOP!!! Stop, that was CRAP!!! CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

Artemis: Relick! Stop it!!

Relick: Good idea. 

Artemis: Thank you.

Relick: Rehearsal's over. Permanently. Go home.

Artemis: Hey!! I never said that!!

Relick: *bitterly* I'm going backstage to play videogames… *storms off*

Tamara: What's up with her? She's not her usual *shudder* fan-girly self…

Seto: Yeah…a bit out of character…

Ootogi (Duke Devlen): *comes into the auditorium* Hey everyone!! What's going on? ^__^

Artemis: Well... look who _finally showed up for rehearsal._

Ootogi: Well. Actually I was hoping to help out with the lighting…

Artemis: Oh…wait!! I've a better idea! Yugi's Grandpa! Get over here!!

Grandpa: *comes in with a back bracer* Yes? What is it Artemis?

Artemis: You're fired. Ootogi, you're the new Mr. Mushnick.

Both: HUH??

Artemis: Well, you're SO cute, and you…*looks at Grandpa* you're _old_…

Yami: Ary-chan, we still have that little problem with Relick.

Ootogi: Why? What's wrong with Relick-chan?

Artemis: Kun…

Ootogi: Kun?

Artemis: Yes… she's been Relick-_kun to you for the past three months._

All: NANI??!!

Yugi: Well, maybe someone should talk to her.

All: *stare at Seto*

Seto: What?! Me? No way!!!

All: *continue to stare at Seto*

Seto: Why me?

Yami: Why? Because…Kaiba's still alive!!!

All: Wrong episode, Yami!!!

Yami: Oops, sorry. I mean, because she likes you.

Seto: *defeated* Fine…but she'll pounce on me…

Jou: So?

Seto: *grumbles and leaves* .*

*~*~*~*BACKSTAGE*~*~*~*

Relick: *playing games on PS2(I own one, but not the company)*

Seto: Hi, Relick…

Relick: *distracted* Hello, Kaiba…

Seto: O__O;;;

Relick: What do you want?

Seto: I just wanted to know…ummm…what you were doing…?

Relick: Playing Wild Arms 3…own a copy, but not the company who made it…

Seto: You're not as annoyingly cheerful as usual…anything wrong?

Relick: *angry* I'll tell you what's wrong!!!! May 15, three months ago, you all promised me a really great birthday present. And what do I get? NOTHING!!! You all conveniently forgot!! The only people who did remember was Ary-chan, my parents, and my co-workers at SIDEWAYS. So now, I'm going to stay angry with all of you until somebody makes it better! *mumbling* Not even a "Happy Birthday, Relick."

Seto: O-okay…I'll…see you later! BYE!! *zooms back on stage*

*~*~*~*ON STAGE*~*~*~*

Anzu: Relick's birthday?!!! How could we have forgotten!!

Mai: Because we didn't know, dummy.

Ryou: This is awful!!

Mistress of Ice: Don't worry, Ryou!! *snuggles close to Ryou* We'll make it better!

Malik: We will?

Bakura: *walks in with an oversized bag marked "Stolen Stuff"* Wow!! Why go to ancient tombs when museums take all the stuff out for ya?!

Energizer-bunny (the reviwer, not the battery): You say there's nice stuff in there?

Bakura: Yup!! Good for any occasion!! 

Black Mistress: Like…a belated birthday?

Bakura: I don't see why not…

Jou: Then give us that bag!!

Bakura: No way!! It's my treasure! My precious!!

Honda: Give it here, evil spirit!

Bakura: Bring it on!!

All three: *go off stage*

*Pounding sounds can be heard in the background*

Jou: *offstage* Kame-hame-HA!! *big blasty sound crashes*

Honda: *offstage* SPIRIT GUN!!! *another big blasty sound*

Bakura: *offstage* Ouch!! Grrr…three can play at this game!! Go! Pikachu!!!

Pikachu: *offstage* Pikaaa! CHUUUUUU!!!!!!!! *electric blasty sounds*

Jou: SUPER SAIYAN THREE!!! 

Honda: DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!!!

Bakura: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Fine!!! Take the goods!!!

*blasts stop*

Jou: Thanks for cooperating, Bakura!

Relick: *comes in, still bitter* I heard violations to my disclaimer, so I decided to clear things up. We don't own DragonBall Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Pokemon…

Honda: *fumbling with a poorly wrapped gift* Yugi!! Think fast!! *tosses it to Yugi*

Yugi: Got it!!! *to Relick* Umm…Relick?

Relick: What…?

Yugi: We're all REALLY sorry we missed your birthday so…here. *hands her the present*

Relick: Oh…Yugi! *tears open the package* *holds up a slender golden crown* It's beautiful!! Thanks everyone!! You DO care!!

Mokuba: Of course we do! We love you, Relick!!

Relick: Awww!! Do you love me too, Set-chan?

Seto: *cringes at his usual nickname* Yeah…sure…whatever.

Relick: YAY!!! Come on everyone!! Let's sing on my semi-new karaoke machine!!! 

Mai: She was so mad…yet she had gotten a karaoke machine?!!

Ryou: I never will understand that girl…

Mokuba: Which reminds me. When the _heck_ are we gonna perform this play!!??

Seto: I hope we get it over with soon. I'm sick of coming here all the time!!!

Artemis: I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you, Seto. We have a lot more planned for you guys… 

Seto: *gulp*

* a flash of light emanates from Relick's crown*

Relick: What's going on?!!

*a strange girl, who looks exactly like Relick, appears out of the light*

Relick: *blink*

Girl: *blink*

Relick: Who-who are you?

Girl: I'm the spirit of the Millenium Circlet!

Relick: Do you have a name?

Spirit: Of course I have a name, baka!! I…just can't remember it at the moment…

All: *facefault*

Relick: Then I'll just give you a name…how about Bob?

Spirit: *makes a face*

Relick: Okay…not Bob. But how about my wonderfully creative reviewers give you one?

Spirit: Sounds goods to me!!

Relick: Send a name in with your review! If it's Japanese, I'd like to know what it means!!

Artemis: And we'll give you a soundtrack of everyone singing on Relick's  karaoke machine. *whispering* We're recording it…


	5. Announcements, Boredom, and Karaoke

Jou: Konnichiwa, minna-san, and welcome to the Yugioh Takes the Stage Kareoke Dance Party!! I'd like to turn it down a little bit...for one of my personal favorites... *singing to Mai*

Don't go changing,

To try and please me.

You've never let me down before...

  
  


Mai: *singing a different song* 

I made it through the wilderness.

You know I made it through.

Didn't know how lost I was

Until I found you...

  
  


Honda: *different song*

I like big butts

And I cannot lie.

You udda bruddas can't deny.

And when a girl walks in 

With an itty bitty waist

And a big round thing right in your face

You get...

  
  


Yami: *I think you get the idea by now*

Feelings...

  
  


Ootogi: It's fun to stay at the...

YMCA!

It's great to stay at the...

YMCA!

  
  


Yugi: Do you really want to hurt me?

Do you really want to make me cry?

  
  


Ryou: *backing away from Bakura* 

Staying alive!

Staying alive!

  
  


Seto: *nudging Jou*

Who let the dogs out?!

  
  


All: Who! Who! Who!

  
  


Jou: *grumbling* Kaiba....

  
  


Seto: Who let the dogs out?!

  
  


All: Who! Who! Who!

  
  


Relick: Everyone get up!! And dance to the music!!

  
  


All: Dance to the music!!

Dance to the music!!

Dance to the music!!

  
  


*everyone is singing and dancing in unison*

  
  


All: *fall over laughing*

  
  


Artemis: That was so much fun!!

  
  


Relick: HUZZAH!!!

  
  


All: HUZZAH!!

  
  


Relick: Ok...enough kareoke for now. A few announcements:

1: Be assured reviewers- you ARE in this story. I'm just not going to include every characters and stuff in the fic. But everyone will appear in the program for the play.

2: We will perform Little Shop in two chapters...be patient.

3: I would like some more names for my yami. I got one suggestion...one. I'd like to choose from more than one.

  
  


Spirit: I feel so...unexistant.

  
  


Relick: Well, you kinda are. You are a figment of my imagination created through the Millennium Circlet.

  
  


Yami: Does that mean that I don't exist?

  
  


Bakura: Or me?

  
  


Both: NOOOO!!! WE'RE NOT REAL!!!!

  
  


Ryou: Does that mean that if I wish really hard, Bakura will just disappear? 

  
  


Bakura: WHAAAA!!! MY HIKARI DOESN'T LOVE ME!!!

  
  


Ryou: *comforting his yami* Awww...sure I do...

  
  


Bakura: I don't want to disappear...

  
  


Yugi: Nice going, Relick.

  
  


Ryou: Yeah...

  
  


Relick: *hugging Yami and Bakura* You both are real. I'm sorry, guys.

  
  


Both: It's ok.

  
  


Seto: So...now what?

  
  


Artemis: Relick, you said no rehearsal today.

  
  


Anzu: So does that mean...we're done?

  
  


Malik: Well...that was boring.

  
  


Relick: I guess we can all go home...dress rehearsal tomorrow.

  
  


Yugi: But I don't want to go home yet!!

  
  


Mokuba: Why don't you sing a song on the karaoke machine?

  
  


Relick: Well...alright. But only if Ary-chan will sing with me. Let's sing "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. 

  
  


Artemis: With pleasure!!

  
  


All: Go Relick! Go Artemis! Go Relick! Go Artemis!

  
  


Relick: *blushes* *singing*

Stacy can I come over After school

  


Artemis: After school

  
  


Relick: We can hang around by the pool

  


Artemis: Hang by the pool

  
  


Relick: Did your mom get back from her business trip?

  
  


Artemis: Business trip

  
  


Relick: Is she there? Or is she tryin' to give me the slip?

  
  


Artemis: Give me the slip

  
  


Relick: You know I'm not the little boy that I used to be I'm all grown up Now baby can't you see!?  
Both: Stacy's mom,

Has got it goin' on 

She's all I want, and I've waited for so long 

Stacy can't ya see? 

You're just not the girl for me 

I know it might be wrong but,

I'm in love with Stacy's mom

  
  


Artemis: Stacy's mom, has got it goin' on 

Stacy's mom, has got it goin' on

  
  


Relick: Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?

  
  


Artemis: Mowed your lawn

  


Relick: Your mom came out with just a towel on

  
  


Artemis: Towel on  


Relick: I could tell she liked me from the way she stared  
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there"

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy  
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

  
  


Both: Stacy's mom,

Has got it goin' on 

She's all I want, and I've waited for so long 

Stacy can't ya see? 

You're just not the girl for me 

I know it might be wrong but,

I'm in love with Stacy's mom

  
  


All: *cheering*

  
  


Relick: Aww...shucks.

  
  


Artemis: Big sister, we rock!!

  
  


Yugi: You were great!! *hugs Relick*

  
  
  
  


Seto: Yugi...cut that out.

  
  


Yugi: What?

  
  


Seto: I'm not going to go out of character again. And neither is Relick.

  
  


Yugi: *has NO idea what Seto is talking about* Ok...

  
  


Spirit: HEY!! I still need a name here.

  
  


Relick: You will! Send a name and it's meaning (if it's in another language) with your review. And don't hesitate!!

  
  


Artemis: What a pointless chapter. But hey, you DID get in five pages!

  
  


Relick: Remember the play is coming up, and my yami wants a name. She's been haunting me in my sleep.

  
  


Spirit: ^__^ It worked, didn't it?

  
  


Relick: I guess...  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
